Oooh Child
by Honestcannibal
Summary: A fanfiction in which Seb re-enacts the dance off scene from Guardians of the Galaxy.


**So I had this idea at 12am and I just immediately started typing it out. I was like, could you imagine Seb doing the thing that Quill does in GOTG? Wait. I am a writer. I have the power to make this happen.**

**And I used my powers for good instead of evil. **

**Enjoy this pure crack.**

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><p>The ghostly projection of Ruvik (Ruben, was it?) and his dead parents disappeared as soon as he entered the large bedroom. His shoes clacked against the dusty wooden floorboards, then he stopped beside the bed.<p>

What the fuck did he just witness? Some deranged kid standing over his parents' dead bodies, clutching a knife and murmuring out his disturbing thoughts. He was like a well dressed version of Leslie. Why was Ruvik even showing him all of this?

Sebastian looked around the bedroom, eyes scanning over every detail. He didn't want to miss any kind of clue that may be the answer to getting out of this hellhole. His fingers brushed against the fabric of the duvet and he looked down, running his hand over the bed. The cover was surprisingly smooth for something that hadn't been attended to for years. Then he felt the dust smother him and he choked, his spluttering soon leading to violent coughing.

Goddamn he tried his best to be quiet because God knows what sort of shit lurked around every corner, but dust was probably his kryptonite.

He shouldn't be thinking that with a sociopathic mind reader wandering around or else next time he wakes up, he'll be in a bathtub of dust and dirt instead of water and blood.

There was a thump and a creak from the hallway. Sebastian slapped a hand over his mouth to silence his coughing, trying his hardest to hear where exactly the noise came from. Footsteps, in the hallway, coming straight for the room he was in.

_Shit! _He panicked, looking around the room. His whole body was freezing up in fear; he had no ammo and if Ruvik found him, he was most likely fucked. The bed was the closest thing to him and he was about to dive under it, then he remembered all those horror movies his wife used to make him watch, where the teenage girl would hide under the bed and then get dragged out and brutally stabbed. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

The footsteps was so close now and Sebastian waved his arms, glancing around the room and mouthing 'fuck' various times before he spotted the wardrobe behind him. Yes, perfect.

He darted into the wardrobe without even thinking and silently shut the door. The panic rose in him so much that he had to stop himself from shaking. Nobody had ever had this effect on him - this _fear _that struck through him. Ruvik was a terrifying opponent. He was fucked up in so many ways and obviously had no form of empathy for anybody.

It was a little bit sad.

The door flew open and Sebastian heard it smack against the wall. The sound echoed through the large room, then came the footsteps. They were slow and calculating. It was definitely Ruvik standing there, eyes gradually hunting for any form of movement. Sebastian stopped his breathing immediately, noticing how loud he actually was.

There was a tiny gap in between the wardrobe doors and Sebastian took this opportunity to examine the other. He peered out and watched as Ruvik made his way over to the bed, his hand gliding over the bed cover. _Fuck, he's noticed I'm in here. _

Ruvik turned his head ever so slightly and his gaze finally fell upon the wardrobe. Sebastian's eyes widened. _He's seen me. He's fucking seen me. _

Now, he could run. He could literally just jump out of the wardrobe and run for his godforsaken life. But he was a detective. He'd seen shit and this was _nothing _compared to half the shit he'd dealt with.

That was a lie. All of it. He was paralyzed with fear and that's why he wasn't moving. When Ruvik faced the wardrobe and began walking over to it, Sebastian stood his ground and waited for his inevitable death.

He was thinking up a solution when the wardrobe doors flew open and Ruvik stood there. His glare was enough to kill Sebastian right there and then - and then came that _smile. _Ruvik held his hand up, ready to explode the inside of Sebastian's head by the looks of it. Then Sebastian held his hands up.

"W-wait!"

Ruvik didn't put his hand down, nor did he continue with violently murdering Sebastian. Good, that was good. It meant he was willing to hear what Sebastian was going to say.

What was he going to say? He didn't even fucking know.

"I- I, well…" He began and trailed off. Ruvik's deathly glare deepened and Sebastian sucked in a breath.

"Oo-oh chi-i-ild," Sebastian sang, extremely off pitch. "Things are gonna get easier…"

Ruvik made no movement.

"Oo-oh child, things are gonna get bri-i-ighter…" He sang again and this time, Ruvik gave the slightest hint of a puzzled look.

"What are you doing?" Ruvik finally asked.

"Some day, yeah!" Sebastian sang again, louder this time. "We'll put it together and we'll get it all done."

Ruvik slowly lowered his hand, staring at Sebastian. The evil shine had gone from his eyes and was now replaced with confusion. Sebastian didn't even think his plan would work, but goddamn the look on Ruvik's face was almost adorable. Why hadn't he thought of this sooner?

He stepped out of the wardrobe and Ruvik took a step back. "Some day, when your head is much li-i-i-i-ighter." Then he took another step towards Ruvik, swaying his hips as he did so.

Ruvik stepped back, looking more than a little uncomfortable. "What are you _doing_?"

"Some day, yeah! We'll walk in the rays of a beautiful su-u-un." Sebastian smiled while singing, "come on, a dance off." He then added.

Ruvik looked him up and down, soon baring his teeth into a snarl. "Stop it."

"Just you and me, come on." Sebastian urged, "Oo-ooh chi-i-ild, things are gonna be easier." He sang again, swaying his body and clicking his fingers to the beat of the song. He was never good at dancing but right now, he was so full of confidence. Now he just had to think up the rest of the plan.

"I'll kill you." Ruvik warned.

"You were gonna kill me anyway." Sebastian laughed, moving closer to Ruvik.

Ruvik obviously had nothing to say to that. He just stared at Sebastian, puzzlement now fully evident on his features. This was good, his defenses were dropped and Sebastian could make a run for it. But not before having a little bit more fun.

His bad excuse for jazz-like steps lead him closer to Ruvik. Daringly, he closed in on the other, singing with his best abilities. Ruvik backed up, eyeing him up and looking more uncomfortable by the second.

If he was honest, Sebastian was surprised that Ruvik hadn't killed him yet. He cornered Ruvik, his singing just a mere whisper once he was close enough to the other. He'd never noticed how Ruvik was only a few centimeters shorter than him or how much colour was actually in those icy eyes that usually held a death glare.

"I suggest you move." Ruvik said lowly.

"If you insist." Sebastian smirked and backed away. He stared at Ruvik for a quick moment, enjoying the thought of the twisted maniac actually feeling _uncomfortable _because of a stupid plan that Sebastian didn't actually think would work.

Then he waved at Ruvik and sprinted out of the room. He didn't even glance back when he heard Ruvik shout, "I'll kill you!"

Instead, he just let out a breathless laugh as he avoided a flying blade that Ruvik had obviously sent his way.

Yeah, things were gonna get easier.

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><p><strong>(As I stated above, the scene is from the film Guardians of the Galaxy.)<strong>

**You know, I was so tempted to make Ruvik some badass little ballet dancer and for him to just slam dunk Seb's bad moves but then I thought, no, we'll save that for another time. **

**You can find the song here: **** watch?v=kmpU_73CXxU**


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